a transition.

so it's been a while. since my last update, i left my summer home and moved back in my new apartment in clemson. although i missed the south, i wasn't quite ready to leave dc. i made some amazing friends and had some of the best times of my life. although entering college is supposed to be "a new adventure", i never really felt too much of a cultural change when i came to clemson as a freshman. it was a lot like weddington. i have never felt particularly challenged to explore who i am as an individual. it was easy for me to come to clemson and blend in with all the other white middle-class kids. the lack of diversity at clemson really stood out to me after spending a few months in a city that has all different kinds of people. as i grew closer to some of the people i lived with, i realized that i had always been so stuck in my way of thinking that i had never really opened up my mind and asked myself "what do i think about this issue?". i had always adopted the religious and political views of my family and everything outside of that was wrong. although i feel just as strongly (if not more) about my faith, i am for the first time exploring my political views. for this, i have to thank the guys who came in my room every night to debate. it really got me thinking.

as i prepared to leave the city, i wrapped up my job, started "packing" my things (throwing everything into the back of my car) and said goodbye to new friends. i hate saying goodbye, especially when i know that things will never be able to be the same again. even if some of us go back next summer, there will never again be a summer just like 2008. i loved it. i fell in love with the city, the people...everything. as i left the city, i drove over the potomac river one more time. from this particular bridge, you could see the washington monument, part of the capitol building and the lincoln memorial. although i drove across this bridge every day, it never ceased to inspire me. each day, i looked at this view and felt the exact same way. i didn't want to leave, but (cliche as this is) all good things must come to an end.

and it did. i moved back in at clemson. things were just as i had left them. my room was completely covered in dust. as i tried to get my things together to move, i came across things i didn't know i had - clothes i thought i'd lost, my passport, a pile of change left in my room by a certain roommate, dishes that hadn't been washed, a few pairs of socks that weren't mine and a mess of old pictures. i packed all these things up and hauled them over to the other side of my apartment complex. as i stood in my empty old apartment, i realized (once again) that there were countless memories there. memories i had to leave behind. it's hard moving on to the next stage in life when you know things can't be the same - or at least that's how it is for me.



i've been thrown full-force back into my life here. i'm keeping busy with class, i'm working everyday, trying to have a life as well. things are different though. not a bad different, but just different. i miss dc. i miss being in a place that i can't completely grasp - a city where you could be walking down to the street and suddenly, be bombarded with naked bike protesters. things like this would never and will never happen in clemson, sc. and...i miss it. life is good to me though. i am learning things - i'm realizing that i do not have all the answers and that i cannot have all the answers i want now. but i feel peace. time keeps moving on.